


More Than Enough

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: Damerey Tumblr Collection [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cuddling, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Post TLJ, References to Sex, Soft Things for the Sequel Trio Pls, Tumblr Prompt, confession of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 12:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: After a harrowing battle with Ren and escape from the First Order, Rey returns to her bunk to do what she's always done best - take care of herself.When Poe Dameron shows up at her door, Rey doesn't know what to expect (but she finds herself pleasantly surprised).





	More Than Enough

**Author's Note:**

> From (May? or April? I think?) back on tumblr, beccaboom requested:
> 
> #21: “You knocked on my door at 1 in the morning, to cuddle?” 
> 
>  
> 
> Heads up for references to sexual activity in the past (no actual sexual content in this fic, hence the rating). 
> 
> aka the one where rey thinks sex is the only kind of intimacy, and has never cuddled before.

To say that it had been awful day would be a gross understatement. 

Rey stands in the ‘fresher, sets it to full strength, and wills the grime of the last thirty hours off her body. The water stings at her already sore skin, an excellent match for her wounded pride, her more wounded heart. 

She rests her head against the side of the small compartment, and pretends that it’s only water coursing down her face while her shoulders heave.  _Why did I do that to myself?_ She wonders.  _How could I be so naive - again?_

Rey has learned many things since Jakku - but she forgot the most important lesson she learned  _on_ Jakku. Trust no one. It’s a lesson she was all too happy to forget for a pair of dark, pretty eyes that she thought masked a still-kind heart. It was her mistake five months ago before the  _Supremacy._ It was her mistake today. 

She isn’t sure how she made it out alive; her one consolation was that the coordinates she traveled to were somehow scrambled before they could reach the Resistance, so the squadron Leia sent after her showed up at the wrong spot, and weren’t present at her and Ben’s - Kylo? Is he just Kylo now? - fateful meeting to be slaughtered by the waiting First Order battleships. 

The Force must be to thank for the fortuitous error that saved pilots’ lives today. Especially because it saved … No. No life is worth more than another. That is not the way of the Jedi. Rey bangs her head against the side of the ‘fresher, wipes her eyes, and shuts off the water. 

Her X-Wing had landed after midnight, and she had sent Leia a message that she would debrief after dawn. Luckily, it was late enough that only the night patrol was there when she landed. Rose was awake and working on a project with BB-8 as an assistant, and they fussed over her briefly, but Rey had shrugged and smiled and made a joke before crawling off to lick her wounds the way she does best - alone. She highly doubts she was convincing in her performance of “Doing Just Fine,” but it doesn’t seem to matter right now.

After towel drying her hair, she pulls a shirt - that she may have stolen from someone - over her head and sits down on her bunk, still shaking. Rey squeezes her eyes shut, bounces her heels up and down a few times, grinds the palms of her hands into her sore eyes, and begins to consider the insurmountable task of falling asleep. 

There’s a knock at her door.

She considers ignoring it, and she does the first time. But, thirty seconds later, the knock comes again, a little louder, and Rey cocks her head, trying to listen through the Force to see who it is.

It’s an unmistakable gold-imbued signature on the other side of that door, but she hopes that she made a mistake. Then, an equally golden voice comes through the door and informs her she definitely didn’t confuse him with anyone else.

“Hey, Jedi, let me in.” 

Rey sighs, unable to ignore her visitor now, and goes to the access panel. She punches in the code tiredly and the door hisses open to reveal a slightly disheveled, still annoyingly handsome Poe Dameron. 

He’s wearing a cream-colored shirt that truly suits his tan, and the first two buttons are undone, revealing the beginning of his broad and muscular chest. Rey knows she’s exhausted because the sight of him barefoot in soft pants and that shirt does almost absolutely nothing for her. 

“Hey, Sunshine.” Poe smiles at her, and it’s a soft smile. She’s seen all kinds of smiles on lithe, charming Poe Dameron. She’s seen smiles intended to disarm, intended to persuade, intended to please; sharp smiles, suggestive smiles, exhilarated smiles. But this. This smile feels different than all the rest.

“Hey,” Rey smiles at him, and gestures for him to come in. The door closes behind him. “What’s up, Dameron?”

He keeps smiling at her. “Heard you just got back, so I thought I’d come see you.” BB-8. That little kriffing gossip. 

“Well, you’re seeing me.” Rey gestures to her body uselessly, but then blushes when she remembers she’s not wearing pants, not wearing a stitch of clothing besides the karking shirt she swiped from Poe Karking Dameron the last time she found herself in a supply closest with him. “Not much to see, I’m afraid.” She feels like shit, and that’s the bottom line. Today’s confrontation with Ben was exhausting, and shot to the hells whatever self-confidence she’d been building during her time in the Resistance. 

“That’s not true.” Poe’s voice is soft, softer than his smile even, the one he gives her at the end of the sentence. He tilts his head at her, eyes crinkling in the corner, and it’s gentle, and soothing, and everything Rey’s terrified of, everything she thought she wouldn’t have to worry about with Commander Dameron, Resistance playboy. His eyes are fixed on her still-made bed, and he frowns, clearly thinking about…something. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

What a terrible line.

“Look, Poe,” Rey swallows in an attempt to make this easier to say. “I’m flattered that you came all the way across base, but I’m not really feeling like sex right now.” 

They’ve been sneaking moments in utility closets before meetings, up against the ‘fresher wall post-missions, on the floor of the training rooms after practicing hand-to-hand - Poe Dameron was fantastic at sex, probably due to a decade-plus of practice, and Rey wasn’t terrible at it either. Sex was easy, skin on skin, physical contact to clear out anxieties. Sex was simple, two people completing a transaction to fulfill a base need. Poe was uncomplicated, and she appreciated it at the beginning for what it was, but lately she wants something more complicated, something  _more_ , and she doesn’t think she can deal with the hollowing aftermath of a carefree romp with the man she’s trying her hardest not to fall  ~~more~~ in love with. 

“Me either.” Poe shrugs casually to punctuate his statement, and Rey stares at him in surprise. “I didn’t come here for sex, sweetheart.”

“Then why?” Rey looks at him, trying to read his expression. It’s soft, again, but a different kind of soft than ever before. Poe Dameron looks at her like - like - 

She doesn’t know what to call that expression. 

“I wanted to hold you.” Poe Dameron is full of surprises. Right now, the surprise is that Poe Dameron - who once spent forty-five minutes 'down below' just to see if he could ‘beat his record,’ - is blushing. She didn’t know he could blush. 

“You knocked on my door, at one in the morning. … to cuddle?” Rey clarifies. It’s a word she learned from Rose.

“Yeah.” Poe coughs awkwardly and looks at the bed again. “If that’s okay? I just - Beebee-Ate told me you looked sad, and I heard, obviously, what happened with Kylo over the comms when we dropped out of Hyperspace, and I just…I thought  _wow, I want to hold Rey, right karking now,_ but you weren’t back yet, and then Beebee told me you were home, and it sounded like you could use some cuddling too, so.” He trails off, looking embarrassed still.  

“That sounds nice?” Rey offers, and Poe grins, bouncing on his heels excitedly. He walks to the bed, pulls the covers back, and flops down without another word. He turns so he’s on his side and holds his left arm out in the air, grinning at Rey, down at the spot on the bed next to him, back to Rey. His intent is clear, and Rey rolls her eyes at him but walks over all the same.

She slides into bed next to him and his arm wraps around her waist automatically. He encourages her physically to move in close to his body, his hand urgent at the small of her back, and somehow she fits perfectly under his arm, up against his body. They fit together well enough during sex, so it makes sense, she guesses. Still, it’s … comforting. It feels safe, and comfortable, and she smiles at Poe, smiling at herself and her own odd lack of experience in this arena. 

“What’re you thinking, Sunshine?” Poe’s got his other arm crooked underneath his head, and Rey rests her own cheek against the cool pillow.

It’s silly, but he asked. “It’s just: no one’s ever held me before,” Rey confesses, and Poe flinches. 

“Then I’m not doing my job, and I’m sorry.” He kisses her forehead, and Rey sighs, burrows in instinctively, deeper into his arms, her nose against his chest. “Damn, that’s good.”

 _His job?_ He’s a Commander, and a pilot. How could this fit his job description? She’ll ask him later. 

“Mmm.” Rey smiles happily. It really does feel good. Poe briefly lifts her chin so he can kiss her on the lips, before he rests his chin on top of her head again. “I think that’s the first time anyone’s ever kissed me without following it with sex,” Rey says thoughtfully. 

“Don’t tell me that,” Poe whispers, and it sounds agonized. “Kriffing hells - you must think I’m an asshole.” 

“No?” Rey thinks it’s odd he’d make that jump. “No, I quite like you, actually” He relaxes slightly, but still looks put out. “I just didn’t know cuddling was on the table.”

“It’s always on the table.” Poe shakes his head and holds her tighter, kissing her hair over and over again. “Kriff, I shoulda taken you on a date first, Sunshine. But you kissed me,” and she remembers tugging him down for a searing kiss mid-argument, remembers how he’d pulled her into the nearest closet, made her forget her name and her fears for twenty glorious minutes, “And I lost my kriffin’ mind. ‘M just always so happy that you want me at all, I didn’t think about how we never … how I never…”

“Never what?” Rey asks, truly curious.

“I never made love to you.” Rey tries very hard not to snort at the term. It sounds like it’s important to Poe. “We’ve just been getting each other off in closets -”

“Hey now,” Rey says disapprovingly. “I like getting you off in closets.”

Poe laughs, and it’s a low, rough sound that makes desire sing through her stomach. “Me too, sweetheart,” he rumbles, kissing her quickly, a little less sweetly, on the neck. Rey sighs into it, and when he lies back down with his head on his arm, she slips a hand between their bodies to stroke at his exposed chest. He makes a noise not unlike a loth-Cat purr, and she smiles at him. 

“I mean it,” Rey says thoughtfully. “I never thought what we did was…lacking? Anything? Quick fucks are all I’ve ever known,” Poe winces again. Gods, she’s bad at this. “ But I like having sex with you, and I know it’s hard to find time right now for a lot of … unnecessary stuff like dates and romance and -”

“When this war is over,” he cuts in, sounding strangely desperate. “Force, Rey. When this kriffing war is over, I’m going to do everything right. We’ll have all the time in the world, and I’ll - I’ll take you on dates, every night, cook you your favorite foods, and bring you flowers, and play you shitty music on my guitarra, and do everything I should have done the first time. You deserve it, you deserve so much more than what I’ve been giving you, and I’m so sorry. Just wait, Rey, when this stupid war is over, I’m going to be the man you deserve because you deserve everything good in this galaxy, you deserve romance and flowers and I wish I could just pause the entire galaxy for more time with you -”

Rey bursts into tears, suddenly. The stress of the day was too much, and now everything Poe’s saying, every good and kind thing that’s never been said to her - it’s overwhelming. Instead of panicking or freaking out at her sudden overflow of emotions, Poe smooths her hair down, strokes a thumb over her cheek while he kisses her forehead, slots a leg between hers, pulls her so much closer - he wraps his entire body around hers and murmurs soothing nonsense into her hair while she sobs into his chest. 

When she calms down enough to wipe away the tears on her face, sniffling pathetically, her breath hitching, he kisses her one more time on the forehead. 

“I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” Rey says, knowing that her eyes are going to be swollen during debrief tomorrow. “Didn’t know anyone could ever feel that way about me.”

“That’s my mistake, again,” Poe says taking one of her hands and running his thumb along her knuckles. “Since the minute I saw you on Crait, when you moved those rocks and saved us, the  _second_ I saw you, Sunshine, I knew. I knew you were going to change my life. I thought you were the most incredible thing I’d ever seen, and then we got to talking, and then I knew without a doubt you were the best thing in this galaxy, and I’ve thought myself the luckiest guy around ever since you kissed me. If I could go back in time, I would, just so I could make sure I tell you all that, every day, so you’d never doubt me.”

“You told me now,” Rey smiles at him, her breath hitching one last time as she finishes her thought. “That’s enough.” 

Poe kisses her again, and it’s the longest of the night, sweet but passionate, tender but aching, and it threatens to tear her open all over again. 

“That’s just the problem,” Poe says after, when their mouths are still just barely an inch apart. He leans forward until his nose is pressed against hers, their fingers entwined between their bodies. “You deserve so much more than  _enough.”_

That starts her tears again, and Poe cries too for a half a minute or so, but she falls asleep with his arms around her, her arms around him.

When she wakes up a few hours later before dawn and studies his peaceful, sleeping face with their bodies pressed together, sleep-warm and relaxed, Rey wonders at the fact that they’ve been having sex for months, and she’s been having sex for years, but this feels like the first intimate thing she’s ever done in her life. 

And she really, really likes it.

Loves  ~~him~~ it, even.

**Author's Note:**

> <3 <3 <3 thanks for reading
> 
>  
> 
> (I have stacks and stacks of ficlets/one-shots - somewhere in the realm of 160? - on my tumblr right now, and I'd be happy to continue transferring them if people wanted to see them on the archive/don't follow my weird self on tumblr)
> 
> thanks!


End file.
